#self-improvement

"Love vs. the Three Headed Dragon In relationships, the corrosive venom of the three-headed dragon areindifference, fault-finding and 'take-each-other-for-grantedness'.Only these cantarnish the shining armor of amour."

"Voodoo I'm phobic about pins and needles.Can I just stick a voodoo doll in the microwave?"

"Leap of Faith [10w] Seeing God withinis where the leap of faith lands."

"God is Great [10w] God found me in a dumpster and made me holy."

"Knowledge vs. Wisdom [10w] + [10w] Knowledge is the understanding that you are what you eat. Wisdom is not eating a pussy with hair on it."

"Your own dreams stand alone, longing to be fulfilled, and you wonder if it will ever happen. You must have faith. Just as the bus was a little late, so too can fulfilment of your desires come a bit late."

"The Universe Begins and Ends in Us If a telescope could see beyond the edges of the universe,we would see ourselves looking into a telescope trying to see beyond the edges of universe."

"Beating the Language Like a Tom-Tom with a Mohawk "Actually, you will receive a free pre-owned gift with every purchase,irregardless of the awesome enormity of your stupidity."

"Who, Me? We marry nearly the same person over and over again,hoping next time they'll get it right."

"Darkness Darkness is a decision the light cannot dissuade."

"American Foreign Policy [10w] Foreign Policy requires dealing from the bottom of the deck."

"Pale Oak Leaves Scatter Pale oak leaves scatteraround my father's grave."For this I pay $30/month maintenance?"

"Russian, Metafizicheskiy-poshlost This is the humorous metaphysical banality like watching Tolstoy's wife, Sophia, nag her husband about leaving borscht stains on the table linen. The resulting discombobulation totally messed up the ending of Anna Karenina."

"Today's Affirmation [10w] "I'll unplug myself from myselfand plug into something higher."

"The Phenomenon of Life {Couplet} The potter's some man of clay who's molding clay,a robot making an automaton;Every day we recreate ourselves from what bricks we're made,how wondrous life's phenomenon!"

"Il Principe 2015: Lesson 1 - The Balls If humility is what's all important to your adversary,humble yourself before him,and you've got him by the balls."

"Did He Do the Right Thing? I walked out of the room. I did not stay to watch my beloved draw her last breath because I didn't want all my magical memories of her tainted by the profanity of death."

"Embittered [10w] "His heart blistered like paint peeling from an old rig."

"My Sweet Home, Alabama If it grows, it sticks, if it crawls, it bites,if it's outside, it rusts,if it's ornery, it fights,if it's a dawg, it barks.if its a possum, it feignsif it's a buggy, it squeals,if it's winter, it's summer,If it's slimy, it's eels.If it ain't Dixie, it won't do,so let's fix to get piss drunkand lynch us another nigger and Jew."

"Hermit Crab Should a hermit crab be required to have a real estate license?"