#suicidal-thoughts

"Dating Asian Her Kung Fu style was not too bad,but at doggie style she had me had."

"9/11 Haiku: Rudy Giuliani, Mayor of New York "Now you boxcutter, Iraqi Pete, camel fuckersreally pissed me off!"

"Shiva Haiku Sitting shiva.One more day of thisand I'll die of boredom."

"Regret vs. Good Times "If I had to regret the good times I spent with every lover who eventually disillusioned me,my love life would be reduced to ten seconds."

"Let's Celebrate! Photoshop Turns 25 This Week [10w] I bought a fake passport on Fiverr.Don't tell Mexico."

"Noah [10w] God, I love rain too ~but this is fucking ridiculous!"

"Promising vs. Promises A promising life comes from a childhood without broken promises."

"Out-of-the-Box [10w] I march to my own drummerin a drum circle."

"Consolation [10w] Man finds consolation in love, laughter and Ben & Jerry's."

"New Age Advertising ATTEND OUR REINCARNATION RETREATGuaranteed to be a once in a lifetime experience.Sure it costs $5000, but lets face it,you only live once."

"What's in it for me?' A selfish person doesn't become compassionate as the result of some words of wisdom or epiphany. The selfish need selfish reasons to act unselfish."

"Deadly Sex Haiku Each thrust of his cockwas another coffin nailhammered in my heart."

"Goat Fucking for Dummies You gently fuck a female goat ~you got to ram the malesto make any progress."

"Suicide Note [10w] "Don't ask why I committed suicide.Question why everybody doesn’t."

"Preparation [10w] Hope for the best, but prepare for your insufferable wife."

"Moment of Truth 'Moment of truth' is derived fromthe Spanish momento de la verdad, that Hemingway epiphanous moment when the matador is about to kill the bull. Now it means the moment you realize you won't make it back to the parking meter before it expires ~sometimes expressed as, Motherfucker!"

"Embalming [10w] Injecting baking soda whitens, freshens, and softens the dearly departed."

"American Foreign Policy [10w] Foreign Policy requires dealing from the bottom of the deck."

"Plant vs. Harvest [10w] Any fool can harvest but it takes true skill to plant."

"Evolution of Love [10w] Love evolved from when one monkey handed another a blossom."