#suicidal-thoughts

"Depression Busy people have neither the time nor the swimming skills to take a divein a pool of depression."

"Rules of Etiquette [10w] Rules of etiquette are pretend manners for the lower classes."

"Ruth Whither thou goest, I will go ~as long as it's to the mall.I heard Dillard's is having an 80% off sale!"

"Cheeky Poets [10w] Remember 'poetry' lies between 'pitiful' and 'poop' in the dictionary."

"You Can't Win [10w] Every bitch is a witch;every wife brings you strife."

"Broken Heart [10W] The broken heart becomes volcanic, forever rumbling anddispersing ash."

"Celebrity [10w] Celebrity is an insignificant zit on the surface of history."

"Amazon.com Amazon.com is the Church of Consumer Capitalismwhose ethics demands we know the price of everything,the value of absolutely nothing of true moral valueand most importantly ~Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought."

"Tortuguer Costa Rica Haiku Lora Sea TurtlesInvade to beach to lay eggs.Locals invade the eggs."

"Herpes [10w] Only greatness and genital herpes are conspicuous by their absence."

"Doublemint Gum: Double your pleasure. Double your fun... ...we're talking ménage à trois, you son of a gun."

"Bridges [10w] Bridges are overpasses for commuters and roofs for the homeless."

"Dogs [10w] Dogs never lie about love,but occasionally fake an orgasm."

"Telekinetic Poker Players Telekinetic poker players have a tell when they're bluffing:they always raise you."

"Travel [10w] The difference between a traveler and vacationer is one arrives."

"The Warrior's Way To the warrior,peace is an annoying interruption of war."

"Life is like a sandwich!Birth as one slice,and death as the other.What you put in-between the slices is up to you.Is your sandwich tasty or sour?Allan Rufus.org"

"Doldrums People who live in the doldrumscan't throw caution to the wind."

"Pizza vs. Internet Porn I'm still debating whether pizza or internet porn is the best thing ever invented.I've already jack-off three times while eating a double-cheese pepperoni piemaking my careful deliberations."

"Good Egg [10w] Picking up the pieces is the responsibilty of the egg."