#teachings

"Penetrate the Mysteries "If you ever hope to penetrate the mysteries of the universe,you've got to buy her a drink first and then pretend you're listening."

"If I Were God [10w] If I were God I'd sell my shit on Ebay."

"Good and Evil To have good and evil the Devil must always remain a step beyond saving."

"Figure, Woman, Wife I study the sleeping figure,Stare at her sated curl of lip;Her lids sealed in dreams so pureMy love's secured from tip to tip.I study the sleeping womanHer forehead faint with sweatHer eyes wildly remmingOf adulterous sex, I bet.I study the sleeping wife,Her mouth faintly drawing breath;Her throat pouring pools of blood ~How I loved this woman to death."

"Integrity [10w] There’s no indignity men of integrity aren’t willing to endure."

"Goat Fucking for Dummies You gently fuck a female goat ~you got to ram the malesto make any progress."

"What is Hate? [10w] Hate is merely love hiding behind the mask of envy."

"Witchcraft vs. Wordcraft [10w] Covens of witches convened at their annual unconventional Coven’s Convention."

"Bagels and Lox Life's an everything bagel;love is a schmear of scallion cream cheese;and lox, no matter how you cut it,is resistant to dumbass metaphors."

"Visual Pun [10w] Example of visual pun:cloud shaped like a banana peel."

"The Flood that Did Not Subside [10w] What would today's world be,If Noah's dove flew into obscurity?"

"Imitation [10w] Art imitates life.Life imitates art.I just imitate imitation."

"Enemies [10w] I prefer my enemies death than apologeticfor closure's sake"

"Revel in the Unraveling Being authentic is lifting the maskon who you think you should be seen as,and becoming at ease with your bare ass vulnerability.Revel in the unraveling,take courage in sharing your imperfections,and you'llincrease your loveexponentially."

"Cruel Love [10w] Cruel love helps turn out excellent,competitive, cutthroat, dog-eat-dog children."

"The Bard's Haikus about Haiku Listen to Shakespeare,'Iambic pentameterand haiku don't mix.'A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise mannever writes haiku.If you tickle usdon't we laugh? If you wrong usshall we not haiku?The good men dolives after them; the evil'sinterred with haikus.Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some scribblesome shitty haikus."

"Anything that you learn becomes your wealth, a wealth that cannot be taken away from you; whether you learn it in a building called school or in the school of life. To learn something new is a timeless pleasure and a valuable treasure. And not all things that you learn are taught to you, but many things that you learn you realize you have taught yourself."

"Diet and Exorcise [10w] The most effective diet is hanging around with fat people."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"Man vs. Chimp Even chimpanzees are toolmakers,but only man has the unique honor of being a Godmaker."