#teachings

"Rice-a-Roni: The San Francisco treat... ...the other treat, of course, being anal penetration."

"Narcissist, Assholes and Immunization Narcissists and assholes are immunized by their egos and sense of entitlement against the criticisms, grievances and resentments of others."

"You're My Favorite' If you want all your children to know they're your favorite,give them all the same nameand whisper this confession in all their earswith the promise not to telltheir brothers and sisters."

"Buddha (Haiku) Buddha, Enlightened,I rub your belly to blessmy Lotto ticket."

"Overheard at McDonalds "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.Are you going to finish those fries?"

"Talking to Myself I used to talk to myself until myself criticized myself.Now I'm giving myself the silent treatment."

"Facebook's New Marketing Slogan "We can only be lonesome together.900,000,000 served."

"The Game Is Afoot God's buried eight jewels within my soul.Life's game is,'Remove each gem, yet find me whole.'The clue is,"Eight is one, and one is eight,no jewel's more precious,all equally great."

"Want vs. What's Coming to You As the Rolling Stones say,You can't always get what you want ~but God will always give you what's coming to you."

"Where the Fuck is Waldo Even whens I finds Waldothat crackhead nigga won't cough up the five dollars he owes me."

"they=""use=""to=""be=""so=""sweet"=""[10w]=""Parent's should celebrate change in their children;they're growing up."

"Pond(er) This [10w] Nobody wants to be:'Big fish in a little pond."

"How to Save the World [10w] When true love floods in, it could float an ark."

"Wretched [10w] Intelligence without compassion is an invitation to a wretched life."

"Flattery [10w] Flattery is the only passport that will get you everywhere"

"Premature Evacuation [10w] I've stopped all my relationships short,not unlike this poem."

"Who Am I "I don't know who I am whenI'm not the person who loves you."

"Hug [10w] To embrace what you truly love,give it a hug."

"Office Depot: Taking Care of Business... ...with short breaks, bad management and no job advancement opportunities."

"Chase vs. Choose Happiness If you chase after happiness, it may escape you.If you choose happiness, it may take your house away.Both chasing and choosing have their hazards ~but they're less risky than waiting for happiness to find you.Remember, happiness is a lazy ass motherfuckerthat doesn't go on search and rescue missions."