#teachings

"Becoming [10w] We're a becoming whose final shape is unknown to all."

"Busch Beer: Head for the mountains... [10w] ...and fall off the precipice shitfaced."

"Clairol 2: Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure... ...but he's gay and already Tweeted it to 300 people."

"Death & Poetry Nothing softens the blow of death like a cushy poem to fall upon."

"Nevada Haiku 'Happens in Vegasstays in Vegas', long as youpay hos to shut up."

"Perdue: It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken... ...it's all about steroids and crowd management."

"Hook 'em I know how to leave them satisfied and hungry for more ~with a carefully administered shot of insulin."

"The Poet's Disease My body atrophies.My mind swells.Imagination's become my crutch."

"The Fate of Prodigies [10w] Early to peak, early to deal with obsolescence and obscurity."

"Dysfunctional vs. You're One Fucked Up Bitch [10w] "Causing pain's the only way you know how to love."

"Proof Proof of God's existence is as silly as proof of love's."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"Err [10w] My dear, "To err is human — to forgive, to redefine."

"Office Depot: Taking Care of Business... ...with short breaks, bad management and no job advancement opportunities."

"Selfies [10w] Selfies allows you instant gratification and reminiscence all at once."

"Q & A The illness of our time is not that we lack for answers;man's tragedy is that we've forgotten the important questions."

"Pussy [10w] Her pussy was heaven's gate and the backdoor of hell."

"Fugly Fishmates For every woman that looks like a hatchet-faced haddockthere's an equally ugly flounder-faced man with even fewer prospects."

"Hearts Hearts of hope and of promiseHearts filled with dreams and whim,These are the hearts of loversUnguarded,Standing out on a limb.Hearts unmended and brokenHearts scarred to stone and steel,These are the hearts of loversArmored,Being unable to feel."

"Omnipresence Under The Christmas Tree "I wish I was a schizophrenic with déjà vu so I could've been everywhere simultaneously."