Random Inspirational Quotes

"When I die of heart failure the next time you frighten me like that, you can put that on my gravestone —‘I didn’t mean to startle her"

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present."

"Do Me No Favors Haiku 'Do me no favors ~I can take care of myself.So, pay the check and drive me home."

"To those who will see, the world waits."

"Alas! Earwax!"

"True friends will always push you towards the great possibilities of your future, false friends will always chain you to the mistakes in your past."

"‎"If there is no God, then man and the universe are doomed. Like prisoners condemned to death, we await our unavoidable execution. There is no God, and there is no immortality. And what is the consequence of this? It means that life itself is absurd. It means that the life we have is without ultimate significance, value, or purpose."

"The sacrifices of friendship were beautiful in her eyes as long as she was not asked to make them."

"There is just as much beauty in birth as there is in death, and it changes our lives just the same. They both add things to us and take things away."Pg. 155 Undone"

"Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"Priest: "No, not if you did not know."Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"

"Life makes fools of us all sooner or later. But keep your sense of humor and you'll at least be able to take your humiliations with some measure of grace. In the end, you know, it's our own expectations that crush us."-- from Skippy Dies"

"Occam's Razor [10w] I shaved with Occam's razor and he shaved with mine."

"The heart pumps blood, a fluid, but it also pulses love, which is as liquid as a wave, and everyone wants a refill. My goal is to be a server."

"Frantic orthodoxy is never rooted in faith but in doubt. It is when we are unsure that we are doubly sure."

"I like not only to be loved, but also to be told I am loved."

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake!"

"Using the Backdoor If we compare writing computer code to sex,then hacking would be anal sex."

"Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."

"Life is a winking light in the darkness."

"One question about a joke is, how well is the strangeness of the situation resolved? At 'The New Yorker', we retain a lot of incongruity, tapping the playful part of the mind - Monty Python-type stuff. We also try to use humor as a vehicle for communicating ideas. Not editorial comment, but observation."