Beryl Dov

"Past is Past [10w] Lovers should clearly avoid obsessing about each other's romantic past."

"The Hand that Feeds You Don't bite the hand that feeds you ~unless you're in a haunted houseand the fucking hand isn't attached to anything."

"No Planning for Death [10w] People put more planning into a weekend vacation than death."

"Life Imprisonment with No Possibility of Parole [10w] "The needle is preferable to three hots and a cot."

"Love vs. the Three Headed Dragon In relationships, the corrosive venom of the three-headed dragon areindifference, fault-finding and 'take-each-other-for-grantedness'.Only these cantarnish the shining armor of amour."

"Cookie Cutter Criticism A critic tried to fit my sense of humor in a cookie cutter,but it wouldn't fit his preconceived shape of what comedy should be.So he pressed harder, and harder and harder until the cookie cutter cut a cookie shaperight through the palm of his hand.It doesn't hurt anymore when the critic tries to slap me in the face.There's no more hot-air resistance."

"Love's War [10w] In love's war there aren't winners and losers ~just casualties."

"Over [10w] It's never ever over because the fat lady can't sing."

"Fabulous Creatures and Trust Issues [10w] Never trust a sheep in wolf’s clothing despite the unicorn."

"Metamorphosis [10w] Change. Become the butterfly.Don't stay a caterpillar with wings."

"Virtual Reality [10w] The only thing better than reality is perfected virtual reality."

"Moment of Truth 'Moment of truth' is derived fromthe Spanish momento de la verdad, that Hemingway epiphanous moment when the matador is about to kill the bull. Now it means the moment you realize you won't make it back to the parking meter before it expires ~sometimes expressed as, Motherfucker!"

"One Poet, 20 Months, 6000 Poems [10w] Let me take this breath... to celebrate my 6000th poem."

"Scientology [10w] There's nothing more oppressive than the ignorance of foolish belief."

"Jonesing [10w] Is it odd of me that I'm Jonsesing for strange?"

"McDonald's I love and rescue stray dogs, duct tape Burger King crowns to their heads and set them loose in McDonald's."

"Senility [10w] Senility's like a bottle of Coke that lost its bubbles."

"Love Fades [10w] Like our love,Chinese painters show distance in faded grays."

"Why Utopias Fail When you tie several horses together and one takes the lead, they all fall."

"Frank Lloyd Wright {Couplet} Frank Lloyd Wright eliminated the confining wall,so now when your wife screams at youit sounds like you're in Tammany Hall."