Garrison Keillor

"I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it."

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."

"A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing."

"The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life."

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."

"When in doubt, look intelligent."

"A book is a gift you can open again and again."

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose."

"Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore."