More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If you’re going to hang around and watch me write, you might as well have a noose around your neck. Would you mind if I kicked the chair out from under your feet? You’re standing on my only place to sit."
"If I could convert books to wine, I’d start with The Grapes of Wrath. I’ve never read it, but maybe tonight I’ll be thirsty enough."
"The thirstiest bird is surely the swallow. My love is so fluid I’ll bet drinking it would give you the gift of flight."
"Personal branding is important to me as a person. It’s also important to me as a non-person. I am a rock."
"She said love her or be tortured by her. I replied, "Torture would be less painful."She didn't realize that I'm a true romantic."