#Bicycle

"Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use."

"Using a mannequin and some rope, could you ride two bicycles at once? Next time, try three bikes. Then truly love someone, because that’s even harder."

"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."

"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."

"Riding a bicycle makes you impotent. That’s why I carry a bicycle seat in my pocket—because it’s better than wearing a condom."

"A turtle is like a lizard in a bicycle helmet, and I think that’s romantic. That reminds me, I should write a love song called, “Dinner for two—plus one."

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."

"Love is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. You may see love as more of an exercise in hard work, but I see it as more of a breakfast on the go."

"You know, bicycling isn't just a matter of balance,"I said. "it's a matter of faith. You can keep upright only by moving forward. You have to have your eyes on the goal, not the ground. I'm going to call that the Bicyclist's Philosophy of Life."