More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
"I am my own clone. I’m not who I was yesterday, but then again I am."
"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."
"I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone."
"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"