More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."
"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"
"It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food."