More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Only a fool would say they’re not a fool. Well, I am not a fool, which is why I say I am a fool."
"Necessity may be the mother of invention, but who is the father? Don’t look at me! I wore a condom."
"The love of my life has made me the happiest man ever. This ever-smiling man/mannequin is so happy because he’s got no brain, and in this way is identical to anyone who still rah-rahs for either a Republican or a Democrat."
"I went to Hallmark, but they don’t sell corridors there. I did, however, find a card that perfectly summed up our relationship. The card was blank."
"She wants to teach me to dance, but how do you instruct water to flow? I'm so fluid all you can do is swim in my moves and drink my essence."