I could scarf down a scarf faster than I could eat any other... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I could scarf down a scarf faster than I could eat any other throat warmer, with the possible exception of your clenched hands around my neck."
"I could scarf down a scarf faster than I could eat any other throat warmer, with the possible exception of your clenched hands around my neck."
"I don’t kind of like to be kind and like you—I love to be kind and love you."
"The Sacred and The Scared. Which of these two categories does your love fall under? I should write a love poem on a rolled-up scroll so you’d know which one categorizes mine."
"Man has two legs and chairs have four, because we were made to stand out, not sit down—or be sat on. You are your brand—you are not a piece of furniture. Well, this applies to everyone except my grandma, but she’s dead, so she really doesn’t mind being used as a coat rack."
"The going rate for love is going away. And the more you go away, the more expensive it gets."
"If you own the most profitable manure distribution warehouse in the world, you might not like the smell of success."