I could scarf down a scarf faster than I could eat any other... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I could scarf down a scarf faster than I could eat any other throat warmer, with the possible exception of your clenched hands around my neck."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I mined my mind, and I found no love. My heart is where excavation yields gold, and if you dig me as much as I dig you, we can both get rich."
"My skull needs a tornado inside, to clean out my thoughts. I’ll call Kansas tomorrow to see if I can rent one for the day."
"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."
"Buy one I love you for $3.99. Buy twelve for $48.00. That’s a savings of twelve cents—directly into my bank account. WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD—Objects not intended for individuals who tend to put forever objects in their mouths."
"I used the boos, and not the booze, as motivation. That led to applause, which I drank up like an alcoholic. I need a refill."