#choke

"The truth is, immigrants tend to be more American than people born here."

"Buy one I love you for $3.99. Buy twelve for $48.00. That’s a savings of twelve cents—directly into my bank account. WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD—Objects not intended for individuals who tend to put forever objects in their mouths."

"I could scarf down a scarf faster than I could eat any other throat warmer, with the possible exception of your clenched hands around my neck."

"A lollygagger is a person choking on a lollipop. That works perfectly, because I sell Heimlich Maneuvers in a variety of flavors."

"Why do I do anything?' she says. 'I'm educated enough to talk myself out of any plan. To deconstruct any fantasy. Explain away any goal. I'm so smart I can negate any dream."

"I love coffee cake, but I would prefer if it were just a little more drinkable. I almost choked while chugging some this morning, and if it weren’t for the fluid nature of clownfish, I might have caught feelings for Hillary using a basketball net."

"After you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less about living and more about waiting."