More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me."
"I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones."
"The fastest way to lose weight is to find religion and start fasting."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"If religion is a crutch, then society is the broken foot."