"I hate when I'm at the grocery store and the person checking me out asks, "Paper or plastic?"It's offensive. As if I'm going to sleep with her just because she has a clever pick up line."
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
"My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun."
"If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep."