I like grape juice. Fermented grape juice—wine. It’s the dri... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I drank her essence, and it’s like she never existed and now I’m thirsty again. Let this be a lesson in love."

"I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are."

"I just invented a hug machine. It’s solar powered so you can use it when you feel depressed, like on a cloudy day. Shit."

"Let me just pause a minute and drink in this moment. And if you film it, I’ll be able to get free refills for life."

"Networking isn’t synonymous with partying. If you’re doing it right, partying seems libraryesque in comparison."