More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I wrote you a love letter, and I sent it snail mail. Love is forever, and that’s about how long it’ll take to get to you."
"So many women are fighting to receive my love that Chuck Norris had to intervene, and instantly he was defeated by desire. #OutBoastKanye"
"I’ll be your Dostoevsky, if you’ll be my Tolstoy. Our life together will be so full of despair that death will be like a gulag full of joy."
"My hands will get dirty holding your rose-shaped heart, because love is like gardening—it’s earthy and takes work to keep it alive."
"The road to hell isn't paved with gold, it's paved with faith. Faith in a dollar that's backed by a belief that people have faith in other people's belief in it."