"I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer."
"I think a funny picture would have a caption that read, “Believe in yourself,” with an accompanying image of a wilting flower."
"Last night my shadow exploded into hundreds of fluttering black birds, foreshadowing my love taking flight under the cover of camouflage."
"We had a lavender kind of love, so soothing and smooth, and if I could bottle up what we had, you'd want it all over your body."
"Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire."
"Instead of reciting her an original love poem using words, I think I’ll use my tongue to more creatively explore the deepest parts of her."