More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to get the words "Courage"and "Bravery"tattooed across my back, so people could associate me with those things as they read them while they chase me."
"I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married."
"I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting his teeth, while a chorus of typewriters sings songs that praises the bananas for their wisdom, leadership, and their high levels of potassium."
"I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will be exactly the same length as the Bible."
"I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals."