"If you don’t know how to love, then any old robot or mechanical device would best suit your relationship style. In this situation, vacuum cleaners might make the best lovers."
"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."
"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."
"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."
"You catch more flies with honey than you do with chopsticks. Let this be a lesson in love."
"Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights."