"If you don’t know how to love, then any old robot or mechanical device would best suit your relationship style. In this situation, vacuum cleaners might make the best lovers."
"It doesn’t take a hurricane to blow out a birthday candle. Let this be a lesson in love—and cake etiquette."
"In a bookstore you can find me in the romance section, because I’m not a lover, I’m a reader."
"I often wear camouflaged pants so when I walk I look like a floating torso. I love with the same air of mystery."
"Asking me if I’m in love is like asking a mortician if now is the best time to die."
"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."