In high school I barely made the rodeo team. But I wasn’t go... - Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women

"The easiest way to get from point A to point B is with a vehicle that runs on alphabet soup."

"Even a fool recognizes that there is great sadness in a bucket of tears. But only a wise man thinks to conserve water and use that bucket to wash his car."

"Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world."

"Everything I’ve ever done, ever thought, ever experienced, and ever felt, has led me up to this moment in my life. And after accumulating and culminating it, all I can say is, “Ahhhhh!"

"If I ever go to China, I’m going to find a piano and play “Chopsticks”--only not with my fingers, but rather I’ll be using two forks."