In high school I barely made the rodeo team. But I wasn’t go... - Jarod Kintz, Great Listener Seeks Mute Women

"If my name were Mememem, and I had just ran into someone who should have known my name but couldn’t recall it, I’d probably say, “I can’t believe you don’t remememember my name."

"Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face."

"I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman."

"Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world."

"I don’t think that taking off my eye patch would increase my night vision by 100%, but it would go a long way towards relieving my wedgie."