I've been trying to start a garage band for over a decade no... - Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.
"I've been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won't move his car."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.
"Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans."
"Hydrogenated and androgynous milky white love is all I have to offer you. Would you like me to pour it in your coffee, or directly into your soul?"
"I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many homonyms are there for meow?"
"Every night I pray I whisper into a megaphone, not only so God is sure to hear, but also my neighbors, because I pray to God He’ll deliver pestilence and plague to the residents next door. I even tell God the exact address, as if He can’t read my heart. But it’s not for His benefit, it’s for my neighbors’."
"The wind blew my words away from you. So while I told you I love you, the phrase was carried in the opposite direction and landed 333 miles away in the ears of a confused farmer. He was nice, though. He sent me a kind letter saying that while he was flattered, I wasn’t really his type."