More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"String several words together in a sentence and you have a language necklace. My I love you would look great with your favorite red dress."
"I’ll be your Dostoevsky, if you’ll be my Tolstoy. Our life together will be so full of despair that death will be like a gulag full of joy."
"I’m an only child, and therefore I gave birth to my parents, because if it weren’t for me, they wouldn’t even be parents."
"She's beautiful, but so what? If the University of Florida taught me anything, it's that beautiful women are everywhere. The trick is to find the diamond among all the glittering cubic zirconias."
"Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries."