"The problem with our society is that our values aren’t in the right place. There’s an awful lot of bleeding and naked bodies on prime-time networks, but not nearly enough cable television on public programming."
"Unrequited love is the only possible way to give yourself to another without being held in indentured servitude."
"When you loathe yourself, a true friend will respect your honesty. And if you’ve been fortunate in life, he will probably share your opinion."
"Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion."
"Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak."
"The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners."