#master-key

"Journalist asks me whether I can sit down for an interview... Sorry, I can't talk now. I'm busy writing up a storm.How about tomorrow?Sorry, tomorrow I'm bust conjuring up a tornado."

"Remorse among Thieves When a caught thief shows remorse he says to himself,"I knew I should pull off that heist differently."

"Income Tax [10w] A man's income tax return measures his integrity and stupidity."

"Thank You Dick Wolf [10w] TV crime shows taught me it’s best to lawyer up."

"Selfies [10w] Selfies allows you instant gratification and reminiscence all at once."

"How to End Racism [10w] The children of interracial marriages should look like panda bears."

"Grave Dancing for Dummies {Couplet} They danced at my grave when I was buried at sea;with my haters drowned, I'm now totally free."

"Poets Be Realists! Poets be realists!It's O.K. to keep your jobs ~just don't quit your day dreams."

"Still Hangin' in the Child Hood [20w] You can spend an entire lifetime trying to be a child again,or never lose your childhood to begin with."

"Death as Opportunity [10w] Death's an opportunity to wisely fill the void it leaves."

"Consciousness-Driven Evolution circa 60,000 B.C. Random genetic mutation allowed homo sapiens to compete more successfully for food and mating rights. Just listen to girl chatter posted on the cave walls:"Boy, Uggh is hot. He's sentient!""Yeah. He doesn't need a club to get my attention."

"Poetry as Entertainment [10w] Poetry that's not entertaining is just a self-indulgent laundry list."

"Dressed to Kill [10w] At fashionable parties,vegetarians should not be dressed to kill."

"Memories [10w] Spend half your life creating memories,the other half, remembering."

"Thorny Love [10w] A thorn by any other name would hurt as much."

"2D or Not 2D [10w] The best thing about a two-dimensional world is nobody's fat."

"Opportunity Knocks: China When opportunity knocksthe Chinese make knock-offs."

"Good vs. Great [10w] To be good twice is a true mark of greatness."

"Metamorphosis [10w] Change. Become the butterfly.Don't stay a caterpillar with wings."

"The Poet's Limitless Imagination [10w] The stringy shit from my goldfish turns him into a kite."