#master-key

"Selfie [10w] For the millennial generationa selfie is a family portrait."

"Grass in a Sidewalk Crack Grass sprounting miraculously in a sidewalk crack is a metaphor forlousy maintenance."

"Treat'em Like a Dishtowel (⌣́,⌣̀)⇝♥⇜(^◡^ ) [10w] "If I wring you out will you wring me back?"

"Marriage [10w] The only thing better than forgiveness in marriage is forgetfulness."

"In the Future [1]: (criminals) In the future we're going to find a wayto turn criminals into wordsand then place them in parentheses."

"Gained in Translation [10w] In timeless truths there's more gained than lost in translation."

"Love and Death [10w] A person who lives without love chooses death by default."

"Finish Off Your Enemies If you finish off your enemiesdo they wind up more charming and with better manners?"

"test post please ignore .Gotcha!"

"Opportunity Knocks: China When opportunity knocksthe Chinese make knock-offs."

"North Dakota Haiku "My bib overallslook spiffy at a weddingor a funeral."

"Frivolous Gossip and Poetry It's just so much frivolous gossip to dwell upon the moral merits of a poet;what should only concern the reader is the merit of his words.Leave moral judgments to the preachers and aesthetic judgments to the critical readers."

"What Children See [10w] "A spider is an octopus who lives in the desert."

"I'm Not Talking About Fruitcake [10w] The greatest gifts are the ones that can be regifted."

"The 2-Step Self-Discovery Program The first step in self-discovery is not giving a shit what anybody else thinks.The second step is knowing you're a self-centered asshole."

"Iran [10w] In Teheran daylight dawnswith minarets against skies of bronze."

"Make It Happen!!! [10w] Don't wait for someone to fall in love with you."

"Celebrity [10w] Celebrity is an insignificant zit on the surface of history."

"Today I Learned: Delete Today I learnedwhen you delete stuff on your computerit still resides on your hard drive.It's sort of like getting divorcedbut that bitch still lives in your house."

"Prayer [10w] Despite God's grace, prayer is not a wish granting well."