#master-key

"Breathe inhale.exhalerepeatThat should solve 90% of your problems.For the other 10% ask your local Rabbi."

"Frank Lloyd Wright {Couplet} Frank Lloyd Wright eliminated the confining wall,so now when your wife screams at youit sounds like you're in Tammany Hall."

"Don't Mess with the Queen {Couplet} The first man harnessing the secrets of fireCannot compare with the revelation of your sovereign ire."

"Adult Pretend [10w] "I'm tired of playing 'pretend';let's play 'get-real, bitch."

"When Old Age Begins Old age seizes center stagewhen more people we love are amidst the deadthan amongst the living."

"The Tragedy of Forgetfulness When you stop loving someone,in order to heal your memory of them begins to fade.Unfortunately, the good ones fade with the bad and suddenlyyears of your life have disappeared."

"The Game Is Afoot God's buried eight jewels within my soul.Life's game is,'Remove each gem, yet find me whole.'The clue is,"Eight is one, and one is eight,no jewel's more precious,all equally great."

"Treat'em Like a Dishtowel (⌣́,⌣̀)⇝♥⇜(^◡^ ) [10w] "If I wring you out will you wring me back?"

"Perspective [10w] In every needle there's a haystack,if you step back."

"There's More Than Two Choices [10w] Don't take the road less traveled;blaze your own path."

"Sharia Justice [10w] Sharia justice is a lynch mob masquerading as Allah's will."

"Witticisms The greatest reward for coming up with some witty turn of phraseis that some day, if you're lucky,it may wind up in a fortune cookieat the very Chinese restaurant you're eating in!But if you get a big head about it,know it wasn't the flattery,it was the MSG."

"How to Get Girls into Bed When I take a new girl out on a dateI tell them I slipped poison into their wineand the antidote is on my penis."

"Autumn Ikebana [10w] + {Haiku} Earthen rainbows raked by Autumn's Ikebana of wind arranging leaves.or:Earthen rainbows raked by Autumn's Ikebana of wind arranging leaves."

"Dangerous Food [10w] The world's most fattening foods are the ones you swallow."

"Long Term Relationships [10w] Long term relationships should begin and end with a laugh."

"North Dakota Haiku "My bib overallslook spiffy at a weddingor a funeral."

"Galoshes Haiku Cherry blossoms bloomin the morning mist.Thank God I took my galoshes."

"The Road to Hell The road to hell is paved with 16 in. x 16 in. Red Brickface Concrete Step Stones.Only $2.97 each.Always in Stock atThe Home Depot."

"Pussy [10w] Her pussy was heaven's gate and the backdoor of hell."