#master-key

"Recipe for Love [10w] Recipe for love:compatibilityattraction ~just add penis and stir."

"Mercy vs. Revenge "May God have mercy on my unfaithful, back-stabbing, adulterous husband because I sure as hell won't."

"Stratospherical Poems [10w] Poets circle the earth in a higher orbit than readers."

"Perfect Sex [10w] Perfects sex balances the conflicting pleasures of submission and mastery."

"Rhyme vs. Reason {Couplet} Do not try to make rhyme of reason,nor reason of rhyme;For the former's too systematic,the latter's too sublime."

"Gained in Translation [10w] In timeless truths there's more gained than lost in translation."

"Promising vs. Promises A promising life comes from a childhood without broken promises."

"BFF, My Ass ~ It's a Jungle Out There! About one-third of all marriages are procured by sabotaging your best friend's happiness."

"Sixty is the New Fifty The good news is sixty is the new fifty.The bad news is twenty is the new ten."

"Genesis {Couplet} God spoke the world into existence, reifying an abstraction.Now the Creator's had second thoughts and wishes to utter a retraction."

"Remorse among Thieves When a caught thief shows remorse he says to himself,"I knew I should pull off that heist differently."

"Liberating Dreams [10w] God was with Joseph in prison.They escaped through dreams."

"Poetry is a Ladder {C☰O☰U☰P☰L☰E☰T} {The poet's job is to create a ladder} {for the reader to enter his imagination}and☰once☰they've☰climbed☰u­p☰to☰the ☰top☰remove☰each☰rung☰by☰grad­ation"

"Pamela Anderson Haiku Ben Stillerbeds Pamela Anderson.My alarm clock rings"

"Objective Journalism Foreign journalists will always compromise objectivity to preserve relationships that give them better access."

"Telekinetic Poker Players Telekinetic poker players have a tell when they're bluffing:they always raise you."

"Please Don't Commemorate Me Just Yet [10w] The living are only commemorated when they're at death's door."

"Spineless "How do you know which invertebrate lacks resolution if they're all spineless?"

"Preparation [10w] Hope for the best, but prepare for your insufferable wife."

"The 2-Step Self-Discovery Program The first step in self-discovery is not giving a shit what anybody else thinks.The second step is knowing you're a self-centered asshole."