#mastery

"please=""hand=""me=""the=""remote,=""dear."=""[10w]=""The most effective method of birth control is grannie panties."

"Misfortune Misfortune is but a stepping stone to great fortune ~especially if your slip and fall was possibly caused by negligenceand you get yourself a good Jew lawyer to sue the parties responsible."

"Want vs. What's Coming to You As the Rolling Stones say,You can't always get what you want ~but God will always give you what's coming to you."

"Knocked-Up Kinda' Loven Marry, me, marry me, marry me,You better say, 'affirmative',Cuz you stuck a bun in my ovenand you haven't an alternative."

"Bespeckled Heroes [10w] Great heroes in 100 years become statues speckled with birdshit."

"Relatively Speaking [10w] The irony about 'relativism theories' is that they're relative too."

"Men Be Forewarned! [20w] A man caught in the embrace of the wrong womanis like having his penis caught in a bear trap."

"Seeing vs. Envision {Couplet} We see nothing more than we bring to it;heavenly orchards lie in an apple's pit!"

"Let's Face It [10w] If you've peed on enough fire hydrants, you're a dog."

"Life is like a game of chess.To win you have to make a move.Knowing which move to make comes with IN-SIGHTand knowledge, and by learning the lessons that areacculated along the way.We become each and every piece within the game called life!"

"Epic vs. Great Poetry [10w] Epic poetry's about the extraordinary;Great poetry is about the commonplace."

"Harlem P.O.V. Everything outside Harlem's the boondocks,where hayseeds opt out of Nikes for Reeboks."

"Travel [10w] The difference between a traveler and vacationer is one arrives."

"Mythbusters [10w] Snipers will assure you safety in numbers is a myth."

"Publisher's Persuasion "You're much too good a writer to want a six figure advance. You don't want your readers to think you're only writing for money ~ do you?"

"Nevada Haiku 'Happens in Vegasstays in Vegas', long as youpay hos to shut up."

"The Poet's Disease My body atrophies.My mind swells.Imagination's become my crutch."

"Politicians [10w] All politicians serve two masters ~their ambition and their cocks."

"Goat Fucking for Dummies You gently fuck a female goat ~you got to ram the malesto make any progress."

"Lies vs. Truth [10w] I can only speak truth if I lie to myself."