#mastery

"Premature Evacuation [10w] I've stopped all my relationships short,not unlike this poem."

"Let's Celebrate! Photoshop Turns 25 This Week [10w] I bought a fake passport on Fiverr.Don't tell Mexico."

"Pitter Patter I love to hear the pitter patter of little feet ~as they unsuccessfully struggle to break free of my choke hold."

"Who Am I "I don't know who I am whenI'm not the person who loves you."

"Enemies {couplet} Ne'er shall man's enemies been drawn so near,then when he seeketh to compare."

"Snob [10w[ I'm throwing a party so exclusive I'm not even invited."

"Poets and their Thin Skins Every poet is thin-skinned when it comes to criticism ~without ithow could he ever possess the astute sensitivity about lifeto even write poetry?"

"Amputees Smart phones and the internet are the prosthetics our century cannot live without.Until we can put them down to take a quiet walk in the woods,we are all amputees."

"Memory Timeline of Divorce Divorce +1 year: "Just because we don't talk, it doesn't mean I can't stop thinking about you."Divorce +10 years: "The one good thing that came out of our marriage was our wonderful children."Divorce +20 year: "Who? Doesn't ring a bell."

"Doublemint Gum: Double your pleasure. Double your fun... ...we're talking ménage à trois, you son of a gun."

"God Made God made our beingour parents our bodyphilosophy our mindchildren our compassionhostory our loyaltywork our self-esteembattles our heroismpoetry our soulsoulmates our lovewhich stitches it all togetherinto a life."

"Reckless vs. Diet [10w] I live too recklessly to worry about low carb diets."

"Spooning [10w] Love means tasting her spaghetti sauce on a wooden spoon."

"ᏰέƦẙḽԃṏሁ Լέῳ [10w] II ᏰέƦẙḽԃṏሁ Լέῳ accounts for 15.7% of all Hello Poetry's pageviews."

"What is Love? [10w] Love is the stubborn desire to find permanencein impermanence."

"No-brainers [10w] No-brainers are challenging enough for people with no fucking brains."

"How to End Racism [10w] The children of interracial marriages should look like panda bears."

"Plant vs. Harvest [10w] Any fool can harvest but it takes true skill to plant."

"Hungry When you're hungry everything tastes good.Note to myself: Don't get married when you're hungry."

"Lotto If I won a million bucks in Lotto,I'd give it to Charity.Charity gives great head."