#Meaning

"Cookie Cutter Criticism A critic tried to fit my sense of humor in a cookie cutter,but it wouldn't fit his preconceived shape of what comedy should be.So he pressed harder, and harder and harder until the cookie cutter cut a cookie shaperight through the palm of his hand.It doesn't hurt anymore when the critic tries to slap me in the face.There's no more hot-air resistance."

"Brand is not a product, that's for sure; it's not one item. It's an idea, it's a theory, it's a meaning, it's how you carry yourself. It's aspirational, it's inspirational."

"Poets Hate Poets [10w] Poets hate poets who are more talented than they are."

"Grass in a Sidewalk Crack Grass sprounting miraculously in a sidewalk crack is a metaphor forlousy maintenance."

"Cutthroat Competition [10w] If competition becomes cutthroatit suggests business has become piracy."

"Knocked-Up Kinda' Loven Marry, me, marry me, marry me,You better say, 'affirmative',Cuz you stuck a bun in my ovenand you haven't an alternative."

"Flattery [10w] Flattery is the only passport that will get you everywhere"

"Poet and the Fool {Couplet} {Limerick} The fool does his ego inflate,much like a poet does his oeuvre overrate.But the truth of the matter is that neither shit matters;harsh reality shall both nitwits deflate."

"No Planning for Death [10w] People put more planning into a weekend vacation than death."

"Ferdinand VII of Spain {Couplet} He who can false loyalty feignshall sit twice upon the throne of Spain."

"My Secret for Out-of-the-Box-Thinking To help me writein my signature out-of-the-box style,I sit in front of my humidifier that I've filled up with Grey Goose vodka.My humidifier is now at Underwriters Laboratoriesin a 12-Step Programand buddied up with a de-humidifier."

"Enemies of My Enemies Who knew the enemies of my enemies were good dancers."

"Fighting For Your Life [10w] 'Everything will be alright,'doesn't mean we stop the fight."

"It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something."

"Becoming [10w] We're a becoming whose final shape is unknown to all."

"Love vs. Honeymoon [10w] Love is what truly begins when the honeymoon is over."

"Faith is not about finding meaning in the world, there may be no such thing -- faith is the belief in our capacity to create meaningful lives."

"Fig The proud oak wed a seedling figHe welcomed her caressThough round his lofty limbs she woundHe saw no need for distress.The fig enveloped all his trunkHer grip grew firm and tightThe oak withered in his arroganceAs she choked off his last light."

"Money vs. Happiness [10w] Why do people with money say,'money can't buy happiness'?"

"Predestination [10w] 'Twas predestined that I'd call predestination a crock of shit."