#Meaning

"Twitter Love [10w] ♥ ۵ 웃 유 ღ ♂ ♀ is2g, no b.s.dnt nd 8v3n, wen ive gt uaღღღღღღღღღღღღღღღღღღღღღ"

"I do not forget any good deed done to me & I do not carry a grudge for a bad one."

"Poorly Hidden [10w] We're incapable of hiding arrogance, ambition or being in love."

"Sometimes God is Drunk [10w] Satan's sudden appearance means God is on a drinking binge."

"Virginia Haiku "Bowl of chili for me.She'll have the Cheesy Western.Both with, add a slab."

"For the human experience, life in the natural world seems to require the application of meaning, in order to evoke purpose."

"Misfortune Misfortune is but a stepping stone to great fortune ~especially if your slip and fall was possibly caused by negligenceand you get yourself a good Jew lawyer to sue the parties responsible."

"Boasting vs. Toasting [10w] + {Couplet} What many call boasting to my success I call toasting."

"A Suicide's Regret "I cut my vein in vain;blood slowly oozes out.I should've cut an arteryand watch it spurt and spout."

"Witticisms The greatest reward for coming up with some witty turn of phraseis that some day, if you're lucky,it may wind up in a fortune cookieat the very Chinese restaurant you're eating in!But if you get a big head about it,know it wasn't the flattery,it was the MSG."

"Celebrity [10w] Celebrity seeking is like love or war: NO HOLDS BARRED."

"What happens when you trip China's Premier Li Keqiang on a banana peel? Your wind up with an even more slippery slope."

"North Dakota Haiku "My bib overallslook spiffy at a weddingor a funeral."

"Wherefore Art Thou, William [10w] Every Shakespeare mouse 'tis tim'rous and every lover 'tis fuck'd."

"The Albanian Art of Subtle Seduction [10w] "You have an amazing mind now show me your tits."

"Seduction [10w] Italy will host the Olympics when seduction's declared a sport."

"Regret [10w] Regret's more about lost opportunities than about paths we've chosen."

"The AP Stylebook is Useless {Couplet} I can't abbreviate abbreviation nor know how to initialize an acronym,I can find the contraction for contraction nor the précis for a homonym."

"Perdue: It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken... ...it's all about steroids and crowd management."

"Mercy vs. Revenge "May God have mercy on my unfaithful, back-stabbing, adulterous husband because I sure as hell won't."