#Meaning

"I [10w] 'I' is a wellspring in the desertoverflowing with life."

"Valentine's Day 1 [10w] Valentine's Day affirms the promise that love can be sustained."

"Pulling a Houdini Relationships are magic;we're always getting each other out of handcuffs and strait-jacketswhile locked in a steamer trunk underwater."

"Jesus Christ Hiaku Jesus Christget a job already.You're killing your mother!"

"Memory Timeline of Divorce Divorce +1 year: "Just because we don't talk, it doesn't mean I can't stop thinking about you."Divorce +10 years: "The one good thing that came out of our marriage was our wonderful children."Divorce +20 year: "Who? Doesn't ring a bell."

"Pizza vs. Internet Porn I'm still debating whether pizza or internet porn is the best thing ever invented.I've already jack-off three times while eating a double-cheese pepperoni piemaking my careful deliberations."

"Why do you so earnestly seek the truth in distant places?Look for delusion and truth in thebottom of your own heart."

"The Cure [10w] Laughter, love and faith can cure 95% of all illnesses."

"Party Hat [10w] Circus clowns, Frenchmen, and sanitation workers look better in party-hats.."

"Voodoo I'm phobic about pins and needles.Can I just stick a voodoo doll in the microwave?"

"Death Has Bad Timing Death has bad timingbecause rigor mortis sets into your penisjust when you don't fucking need it."

"But often, in the world’s most crowded streets,But often, in the din of strife,There rises an unspeakable desireAfter the knowledge of our buried life;A thirst to spend our fire and restless forceIn tracking out our true, original course;A longing to inquireInto the mystery of this heart which beatsSo wild, so deep in us—to knowWhence our lives come and where they go."

"Memories [10w] Spend half your life creating memories,the other half, remembering."

"When you can live forever what do you live for?"

"It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something."

"Paranoid Realist Perspective [10w] "I've conquered all my enemies except for the real ones."

"Political Strategists Avoids the Controversial [10w] Politicians win by pandering to the base of shared assumptions."

"♥ Love ♡ My heart skips a beat every time you walk through the door!It isn't love ~ I have an arrhythmia."

"Gypsy When one gypsy spits on you, its disgusting;when two do, it's suspicious;when three do, you're late to a gypsy wedding."

"New Year's Resolutions New Year's resolutions shouldn't be about doing new things;it should be about stopping to do the shitty things you're already doing."