#personal-development

"Lotto If I won a million bucks in Lotto,I'd give it to Charity.Charity gives great head."

"Poetry and Love [10w] Poetry and love are two faces of the same coin."

"Poets and Competitiveness [10w] "I'm the only poet I need to be better than."

"How to Get Girls into Bed When I take a new girl out on a dateI tell them I slipped poison into their wineand the antidote is on my penis."

"The Delinquent Girl Chronicles Ages 7-11: Skip ropeAges 12-16: Skip classAge 17: Skip periodAge 18: Skip coming homeAge 19: Skip town"

"Catalyst [10w] You're not lying if your lie helps engender the truth."

"Diet and Exorcise [10w] The most effective diet is hanging around with fat people."

"Sixty is the New Fifty The good news is sixty is the new fifty.The bad news is twenty is the new ten."

"Moment of Truth 'Moment of truth' is derived fromthe Spanish momento de la verdad, that Hemingway epiphanous moment when the matador is about to kill the bull. Now it means the moment you realize you won't make it back to the parking meter before it expires ~sometimes expressed as, Motherfucker!"

"Seafood My body's just a shell,the world is my oyster ~and I'm getting a whale of appetiteright now for some delicious seafood ."

"Now [10w] + {Couplet} Whether you Hurry up! or P r o c r a s t i n a t e,the NOW doesn't discriminate."

"Nursing Homes [10w] Nursing homes are house haunted by the living and half-dead."

"Senility [10w] Senility's like a bottle of Coke that lost its bubbles."

"Thai-kus From the dark starfishof the 300 Baht whoremy white sperm bubbles.Reclining BuddhaBirds nest in your golden ears.What wisdom they hear."

"Soar Like a Pigeon [10w] Better be a pigeon than an eagle with Indians around."

"Spirituality and Aging Spirituality comes naturally to the old because they're running out of options."

"Love's Reward [10w] + {Couplet} Love repaid is love's reward;recompense fair towards being adored."

"Pussy Whipped I was pussy whipped with four lashes.It was a helluva threesome ~but I still can't get the damn mascara off my one-eyed snake."

"Genocide [10w] Genocide is the runaway bride once death becomes the bridegroom."

"Alone [10w] Alone in bed because of three wordsI hadn't said."