#positive-outlook

"Dressed to Kill [10w] At fashionable parties,vegetarians should not be dressed to kill."

"Psychotherapy [10w] If you can second guess a psychotherapist,they’re totally useless."

"Miss Universe Contest Protest Haiku Fundamentalists protest Miss Universe contest.Go home, beat their wives."

"There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. [10w] + {Couplet} Network TV's insistent stupidity to the Outer Limits pushes me."

"Louisiana Dynamite Fishin' {10w] "Uncle Jimbo sez, if dey don't float it ain't fishin'."

"Dating Asian Her Kung Fu style was not too bad,but at doggie style she had me had."

"What is the Meaning of Life? [10w] {6} To be transformed into all we are capable of becoming."

"Narcissist, Assholes and Immunization Narcissists and assholes are immunized by their egos and sense of entitlement against the criticisms, grievances and resentments of others."

"Time is Not a Constant [10w] Time speeds up, crawls, compresses and expands depending on mood."

"Comedy vs. Satire [10w] Comedy pokes fun at society's self-inflation;satire deflates the balloon."

"Men Be Forewarned! [20w] A man caught in the embrace of the wrong womanis like having his penis caught in a bear trap."

"Remorse among Thieves When a caught thief shows remorse he says to himself,"I knew I should pull off that heist differently."

"Selfies [10w] Selfies allows you instant gratification and reminiscence all at once."

"Confucius vs. Confusion [10w] Confucius says if pussy smell like fish change the bait."

"Pussy Whipped I was pussy whipped with four lashes.It was a helluva threesome ~but I still can't get the damn mascara off my one-eyed snake."

"Perspective [10w] In every needle there's a haystack,if you step back."

"How to Get Girls into Bed When I take a new girl out on a dateI tell them I slipped poison into their wineand the antidote is on my penis."

"Over [10w] It's never ever over because the fat lady can't sing."

"Star No matter how bright the star, it's just part of a galaxy which is part of a constellation which is part of the night skywhich is part of the known universewhich is a speck of dust in God's eye."

"Leaping lemmings! Leaping lemmings!I so adore ya'Can't get enoughJust want more’o'ya'!When I've had my fill'o'ya',I long for anotherRefill'o'ya.So, let's cut my spiel And here's the deal:I'm just gonna' haveta' cloneya'!So, when we're doneJust having fun --I'm just gonna' haveta' boneya'Again."