#positive-outlook

"If You Can't Think, You've No Right to Speak [10w] Our Constitution's guarantee of free speech specifically excludes fucking idiots."

"Renewal Cream [10w] The features of the human face are enriched by poetry."

"The Pompous Psychopomp Its your charge to provide me safe passage to the afterlife,to be a midwife to my dying.Any yet, you hover there, judging me,putting on airs, you supercilious whip-poor-will.You're an embarrassment to nightjars everywhere.Now do your fucking job and take me to hell ~which I guess has already begun,judging by your shitty escort service."

"Prickly Pears [10w] Men are often like cactus fruits ~thorny outside,mushy inside."

"They'd Rather Switch [10w] Hearing is wasted on the blind;sight, on the deaf."

"Regret [10w] Regret's more about lost opportunities than about paths we've chosen."

"Love vs. Control [10w] A lover you can control is not worthy of having."

"Imitation [10w] Art imitates life.Life imitates art.I just imitate imitation."

"Legacy To leave a legacy,you first gotta leave your leg in the door."

"No That's Bad Aim Shoot!That ass clown couldn't hit the broad side of a barnwith the smart photon torpedohe lifted from Area 51."

"Rat Trap Haiku 'Hmm, 12 by 13,4 by 9. Oy! You call thisrat trap an apartment?"

"Biggest Problem with 10w [10w] The biggest problem with aphorisms is people believe they're true."

"GPS for Sin "You've entered the point of no return;Re-cal-cu-la-ting."

"Jonesing [10w] Is it odd of me that I'm Jonsesing for strange?"

"Depression vs. Death Depression is anger turned within causing misery and hopelessness.Death is hate turned within until it totally eats you alive."

"Tangled [10w] Love becomes a tangle of roots submerged in common soil."

"The Bard's Haikus about Haiku Listen to Shakespeare,'Iambic pentameterand haiku don't mix.'A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise mannever writes haiku.If you tickle usdon't we laugh? If you wrong usshall we not haiku?The good men dolives after them; the evil'sinterred with haikus.Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some scribblesome shitty haikus."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"When in Doubt [10w] If your relationship becomes stagnant,set fire to her dress."

"Seeing vs. Envision {Couplet} We see nothing more than we bring to it;heavenly orchards lie in an apple's pit!"