#positive-outlook

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"California Milk Processor Board: Got Milk?... ...cuz I got a fucking hangover."

"Narcissist, Assholes and Immunization Narcissists and assholes are immunized by their egos and sense of entitlement against the criticisms, grievances and resentments of others."

"2 Rules on Becoming a Good Poet [10w] Rule#1: Never write shitty poetry.Rule#2: Never forget Rule #1."

"Gray [10w] Since gray's the 'new black' things aren't black and white."

"First Things First [10w] God created the possibility of absurditybefore he created man."

"Keep Austin Weird Haiku Neck dragon tattoo, piercings, purple haired kindergarten teacher.Keep Austin weird."

"Retail Haiku [7w] LollapaloozaLiquidation Blowout Sale.Everything Must Go!"

"What is God? (60) [10w] God's always the correct answer once you rephrase the question."

"Misfortune Misfortune is but a stepping stone to great fortune ~especially if your slip and fall was possibly caused by negligenceand you get yourself a good Jew lawyer to sue the parties responsible."

"Don’t Let the Dead Fish Fool You [10w] Even the eyes of a dead fish can reflect light."

"Rewrite☷Rewrite [10w] Happiness writes new memories;New losses rewrite over old ones."

"Lost Love [10w] + {Couplet} Lost love's the season of mists,Though they are gone, memory persists."

"Black Hole The death of one great man makes the world seem empty;the death or three creates a back hole in the heart of humanity.In Memorium 2015B.B. KingOliver SacksNicholas Winton"

"Virtual Reality [10w] The only thing better than reality is perfected virtual reality."

"Steer Clear [10w] Avoid alliances with anyone who's more to gain than you."

"Trance & Instinct The best poems come from trance and instinct;transcribing the unedited voice of universal consciousness."

"Free Lunch There's no such thing as a free lunch ~for people who haven't yet learned to beat the system ;)"

"Recipe for Love [10w] Recipe for love:compatibilityattraction ~just add penis and stir."

"Kansas Haiku "Ya' know Superman'sfrom here and Jor-El could'vesent him to New York."