#positive-thoughts

"Crest Toothpaste: Look, Ma, no cavities!... ...that'll really piss off the TSA agents looking for contraband."

"The Pompous Psychopomp Its your charge to provide me safe passage to the afterlife,to be a midwife to my dying.Any yet, you hover there, judging me,putting on airs, you supercilious whip-poor-will.You're an embarrassment to nightjars everywhere.Now do your fucking job and take me to hell ~which I guess has already begun,judging by your shitty escort service."

"How to End Racism [10w] The children of interracial marriages should look like panda bears."

"When we lose our spiritual child then that is when we have grown old."

"Often the only difference between success and failure is not using Cosmic Ordering."

"Wake up and smell the wealth with Cosmic Ordering."

"Death & Poetry Nothing softens the blow of death like a cushy poem to fall upon."

"Virtual Reality [10w] Bliss is a virtual-reality headset coupled with a virtual-reality hooker software."

"What is Hate? [10w] Hate is merely love hiding behind the mask of envy."

"Poetry Calling [10w] Poetry's not a calling.It's a whispering in your ear."

"Out to Lunch [10w] Behind closed doors, there's nothing we rightfully can call crazy."

"Informal HP Survey: Should Poetry Rhyme? O.K., readers, anybody who thinks poetry should rhymeplease tap your caneor jiggle your walker."

"Epic vs. Great Poetry [10w] Epic poetry's about the extraordinary;Great poetry is about the commonplace."

"God Created [10w] Lips were created to kiss and hands to make peace."

"Shadows are only Neutral at Noon [10w] + {Couplet} Whose side shadows fall upon,tis' ordained by reigning sun."

"When faced with a hurdle then give it all you've got to jump over it because it can't be done in two stages."

"Love in the Afterlife [10w] Maybe I'll love you in the afterlife.This life, fuhgeddaboudit."

"Goose Neck [10w] Whenever a goose has a car accident, the traffic sucks."

"Gold Diggers are Always at Two Weddings A gold digger's eyes are searching for her next husband at her wedding."

"Bagels and Lox Life's an everything bagel;love is a schmear of scallion cream cheese;and lox, no matter how you cut it,is resistant to dumbass metaphors."