#positive-thoughts

"The Tigger Journals [10w] "Honestly, I'd rather be alone than with that unbearable Winnie-the-Pooh."

"Maintaining the Distance between Wealth and Poverty [10w] The nouveau riche are far more ruthlessthan the rich."

"You're Totally Fucked' Defined [10w] What's before you is hopeless and behind you is negligible."

"Don’t let time make a fool of you, use Cosmic Ordering."

"Deal or No Deal ~ Deal with It "God, please tell me the place I'm going after I dieis filled with bright eyes and bushy tails, or I'm not going."

"The great dividing line between success and failure is Cosmic Ordering"

"Getting Real about the Eel It's not that eel wants to avoid commitment.From the eel's point of view, it is a matter of survival.Who the fuck wants to be with an eel anyway,when there are plenty of less slippery fish."

"How they Measure Self-Worth in Fort Worth: Actual Texas Hooker Quote (the irony is priceless!) "Quit fucking acting like y'alls have me all figured outand don't you ever, EVER, lump me into the category of your trashy hooker girlfriend who charges $100/hr. for full service. Shit, I charge $200 minimum now ~because after the year of being at the bottom I know my self worth."

"Old People [10w] At the mere mention of death they gasp for breath."

"Obscenity [10w] Obscenity's undefinable becauseeverything that occurs in nature is natural."

"Excuse The bureaucrat's excuse, 'If I have to make an exception for you,I have to make an exception for everybody else',doesn't apply to me because I exceptional."

"Virtual Friends [10w] Internet camaraderie's bullshit because these 'friends' can't be relied upon."

"Till Death Do You Part [10w] Marriage will indeed change people ~for better or for worse."

"Small Degrees Lobster don't fathom they're being cooked,like relationships being snuffed out in small degreesbut in reverse, as love begins to freeze over, trapping you in a impenetrable ceiling of ice until you drown."

"Clairol 2: Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure... ...but he's gay and already Tweeted it to 300 people."

"Scissor, Paper, Rock [10w] When time acts like a scissor,react like a rock."

"My Secret for Out-of-the-Box-Thinking To help me writein my signature out-of-the-box style,I sit in front of my humidifier that I've filled up with Grey Goose vodka.My humidifier is now at Underwriters Laboratoriesin a 12-Step Programand buddied up with a de-humidifier."

"The Moon The moon's a pearl among the starry gems,more cultured than the rest of them.A blemished diadem of charcoaled nightthat chaperons the sun back to the light."

"Jesus [10w] "Sorry to keep you hanging,but it's just our nature."

"Home Never give up a home for a house;you may never find a home again."