#sacred-teachings

"Deadlines The only deadline I plan on missing is the one at the cemetery."

"Confucius vs. Confusion [10w] Confucius says if pussy smell like fish change the bait."

"Crawling Backwards [10w] Crawling backwards is the hardwired wisdom of crabs and survivors."

"Athens, Texas Haiku Blackeyed Pea Capital of the World.Yup, just another shithole."

"Bridges [10w] Bridges are overpasses for commuters and roofs for the homeless."

"The Game Is Afoot God's buried eight jewels within my soul.Life's game is,'Remove each gem, yet find me whole.'The clue is,"Eight is one, and one is eight,no jewel's more precious,all equally great."

"Meek [10w] Blessed are the meek, for they've learned how to duck."

"Chutzpah {Limerick} Despite your unmitigated audacity,you're effrontery remains one of opacity.Let me suggest you turn Jewand learn chutzpah too,to realize your fullest capacity."

"Sixty is the New Fifty The good news is sixty is the new fifty.The bad news is twenty is the new ten."

"Mended [10w] {Couplet} If the recently mended heart,breaks again, it shall not start."

"Old People [10w] At the mere mention of death they gasp for breath."

"Dysfunctional Love We split up not because he or she didn't love us,but because they did love us in the only way they knew how."

"Life is like a game of chess.To win you have to make a move.Knowing which move to make comes with IN-SIGHTand knowledge, and by learning the lessons that areacculated along the way.We become each and every piece within the game called life!"

"The Poet is God When a poem's words perfectly fit,it has legs.When they communicate well,it has a voice.When they make you think,it has a mind.When the make you feel,it has a heart.Think about it.When you write a poem,you've created a person,with a distinct identityand an immortal soulthat you send out into the worldto possibly change the world.Now you know what it feels liketo be God."

"Seduction [10w] Italy will host the Olympics when seduction's declared a sport."

"Finally, I Know Who I Am You are what you eat.~ Ludwig Andreas FeuerbachWe become what we think about.~ Earl NightingaleI'm a Horny Pizza!"

"Perdue: It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken... ...it's all about steroids and crowd management."

"Second Opinions My doctor told me I have pancreatic cancer and have 2 months to live.I asked him about getting a second opinion.The Doc said, 'No problem.'He thought for a second and said,'I think the Boston Red Sox are going to win the series again this year."

"In the Porn Industry [10w] Lacking a college-diploma's more than compensated by a humongous penis."

"Sink or Swim [10w] Lovers master the breaststroke, the crawl and the muff dive."