#sage-advice

"The Sound of Killing [10w] + [10w] A doe, a deer, a femaledeerin my headlights.A doe, a deer, a femaledeeron my sunroof."

"An Enirely Different Matter [10W] Four states of matter:solid, liquid, gasand ffuzzy-wuzzy."

"Visual Pun [10w] Example of visual pun:cloud shaped like a banana peel."

"Taste [10w] + [10w] "If you have sophisticated taste, you like what I like.If you're a Neanderthal, you will love what I hate."

"Enough [10w] Enough's the only thing most people can't get enough of."

"The Bard's Haikus about Haiku Listen to Shakespeare,'Iambic pentameterand haiku don't mix.'A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise mannever writes haiku.If you tickle usdon't we laugh? If you wrong usshall we not haiku?The good men dolives after them; the evil'sinterred with haikus.Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some scribblesome shitty haikus."

"The Machismo Motto [10w] "When we are not hard as nails we get screwed."

"Coffee Wisdom [2] For a real manthe only thing better than the scent of pussyis the smell of freshly ground coffee."

"Epic vs. Great Poetry [10w] Epic poetry's about the extraordinary;Great poetry is about the commonplace."

"Enigmatic Real Estate I choose to live on the edge of mysterywith its inscrutable view of complexityhedged by perplexity.Also, there's a Walmart nearby."

"BFF, My Ass ~ It's a Jungle Out There! About one-third of all marriages are procured by sabotaging your best friend's happiness."

"Pussy Whipped I was pussy whipped with four lashes.It was a helluva threesome ~but I still can't get the damn mascara off my one-eyed snake."

"Explosive Heart [10w] + {Couplet} A heart that's been playedcan become a hand grenade."

"Crying in the Rain If you cry in the raindoes anybody but you know you're unhappy?"

"Cleverness vs. Crime [10w] Being caught's the only difference between cleverness and crime."

"Hung [10w] Being caught with your pants down is a hanging offense."

"Promising vs. Promises A promising life comes from a childhood without broken promises."

"Great Poets [10w] Great poets can milk blood and tears from a stone."

"Gone to the Dogs [10w] All ideals corrupt into ideology to sustain the social order."

"Memory Timeline of Divorce Divorce +1 year: "Just because we don't talk, it doesn't mean I can't stop thinking about you."Divorce +10 years: "The one good thing that came out of our marriage was our wonderful children."Divorce +20 year: "Who? Doesn't ring a bell."