#sage-advice

"Retail [10w] The first and last sale of the day are best."

"Wherefore Art Thou, William [10w] Every Shakespeare mouse 'tis tim'rous and every lover 'tis fuck'd."

"Mood Swings 'ᏰέƦẙḽԃṏሁ's the most "unappreciated"poet on this site.Being "misunderstood"is what gets him into a fight.Now that I'm retired and free,He's the new "King"of HP ~Now I hate that Jew because he's better and right."

"Patriotism [10w] Patriotism for the rich is a subtle synonym for profiteering."

"Off the Hook True story...A cop pulls me over for speeding.He says, "What's the hurry?"I say, "I'm running awayfrom a bad marriage."He laughs and says, "Drive carefully."The officer lets me go.Beyond the practical lesson thatmaking a policeman laugh may get you off the hook,there's a certain poetry here in the unexpected connection ~for what is a poemif not a moment of surpriseworth retelling."

"Delusion vs. Truth Delusions are what really set you free;the truth is a choke hold."

"Don’t Let the Dead Fish Fool You [10w] Even the eyes of a dead fish can reflect light."

"Mind Maneuvers When we hear something unflattering,our mind doesn't fully process it.When we hear a compliment,the mind goes into overdriveand tend to read too much into it."

"*"Maybe the whole point of my life is to make you feel more alive."

"Embittered [10w] "His heart blistered like paint peeling from an old rig."

"Celebrity [10w] Celebrity seeking is like love or war: NO HOLDS BARRED."

"Chutzpah {Limerick} Despite your unmitigated audacity,you're effrontery remains one of opacity.Let me suggest you turn Jewand learn chutzpah too,to realize your fullest capacity."

"Perfection [10w] If you've attained perfection,then what's the point of living?"

"How to Get Girls into Bed When I take a new girl out on a dateI tell them I slipped poison into their wineand the antidote is on my penis."

"Did He Do the Right Thing? I walked out of the room. I did not stay to watch my beloved draw her last breath because I didn't want all my magical memories of her tainted by the profanity of death."

"Diet and Exorcise [10w] The most effective diet is hanging around with fat people."

"Metamorphosis [10w] Change. Become the butterfly.Don't stay a caterpillar with wings."

"Iowa Haiku "We're not really dull,we are just misunderstood.Weed helps dull the pain."

"Hung [10w] Being caught with your pants down is a hanging offense."

"New York City [10w] + [10w] + {Couplet} In fast-paced New York Cityeven the bubbling brooks babble.The Hudson and East River run rabid,skirting the rabble"