#sage-advice

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"Loneliness [10w] Loneliness is GPS equipped new Mercedeswith nowhere to go.****************"

"Publisher's Persuasion "You're much too good a writer to want a six figure advance. You don't want your readers to think you're only writing for money ~ do you?"

"Do Me No Favors Haiku 'Do me no favors ~I can take care of myself.So, pay the check and drive me home."

"Pitter Patter I love to hear the pitter patter of little feet ~as they unsuccessfully struggle to break free of my choke hold."

"Original Thoughts [10w] Original thoughts are not diminished by days, distance or disregard."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"O God O God I love you.I worship you, I need you.Everything I am is because of you.Everything.O God I hate you."

"Cancer [10w] It's odd that the cancer that kills you is you."

"Nevada Haiku 'Happens in Vegasstays in Vegas', long as youpay hos to shut up."

"Argument [10w] Argue for the sake of resolutionnot for arguments sake.."

"Hearts Hearts of hope and of promiseHearts filled with dreams and whim,These are the hearts of loversUnguarded,Standing out on a limb.Hearts unmended and brokenHearts scarred to stone and steel,These are the hearts of loversArmored,Being unable to feel."

"The Refugee I packed my car with cash and valuablesand headed for the border.At the first checkpoint they took my cash.At the second they took my valuables.At the border they took my car and my shoes.I walked barefoot the last 100 feet to freedom,and was greeted with open arms by a person I didn't recognize.In time I discovered that strangerwas the me they could not take from me."

"Sometimes God is Drunk [10w] Satan's sudden appearance means God is on a drinking binge."

"Glow in the Dark "You've led me from stark nightwith a love that glows in the dark."

"There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. [10w] + {Couplet} Network TV's insistent stupidity to the Outer Limits pushes me."

"Pedestals [10w] People should not be placed on pedestals unless they're stuffed."

"Fucking 3rd World Taxi Drivers [10w] Taxi drivers have ruined more vacations than tsunamis or earthquakes."

"Brewing Poetry Comma sips between the lines,insights percolate into a 10w,a latte sonnet here, a cappuccino couplet there.A few smartass epiphanies,and something new in every brew.One final fix,voilà, the poem is fixed!I adore this caffeine,that alchemises the extraordinary into the routine,and vice versa with the unforseen.It turns blue aquamarine,and words into Mexican jumping beans."

"Ferdinand VII of Spain {Couplet} He who can false loyalty feignshall sit twice upon the throne of Spain."