#sage-advice

"Me vs. Me Only the practice of empathy and gratitudecan make the opaque ego transparent to receivethe loving light emanating from your soul.Hate and selfishness will always leave you'in the shadow."

"Hermit Crab Should a hermit crab be required to have a real estate license?"

"Love on Fire [10w] A man in love cannot see fire or smell smoke."

"The Road to Hell The road to hell is paved with 16 in. x 16 in. Red Brickface Concrete Step Stones.Only $2.97 each.Always in Stock atThe Home Depot."

"Lost vs. Lost We get lost twice in life.The first stems from uncertainty,when we try to find what our dreams truly are.The more profound feeling of being lost is existential, and comes unforeseen, after we finally fulfill our dreams.To survive the latter, we must create an entirely new set of dreams."

"Perdue: It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken... ...it's all about steroids and crowd management."

"Time Time waits for no man ~but for hot women Time makes exceptions."

"Invisible Attraction What's invisible to the eye is that as you move towards love,love moves towards you."

"Poets Be Realists! Poets be realists!It's O.K. to keep your jobs ~just don't quit your day dreams."

"Paranoid Realist Perspective [10w] "I've conquered all my enemies except for the real ones."

"Vengeance, Thy Name is Woman Betrayed women aren't exactly vengeful,but they aren't exactly anything else."

"Visual Pun [10w] Example of visual pun:cloud shaped like a banana peel."

"No That's Bad Aim Shoot!That ass clown couldn't hit the broad side of a barnwith the smart photon torpedohe lifted from Area 51."

"♀ Travelers vs. ♀ Tourists [10w] + [10w] Female travelers wear no makeup, stringy jewelry and Jesus sandals.Female travelers wear overcaked makeup, diamond jewelry and Gucci Booties."

"Dialogue Knowledge compromises its truthonce it ceases to be a dialogue."

"Hearts Hearts of hope and of promiseHearts filled with dreams and whim,These are the hearts of loversUnguarded,Standing out on a limb.Hearts unmended and brokenHearts scarred to stone and steel,These are the hearts of loversArmored,Being unable to feel."

"Good vs. Great [10w] To be good twice is a true mark of greatness."

"Illinois State Motto State sovereignty, national union.Life begins and ends with corruption."

"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Hill That's because my lawn is on a south-facing slope of the hill and more more open to sunlight and warm winds. It's dryer due to higher levels of evapotranspiration than my neighbor's greener north-facing slope.I'm not the least bit envious of the color of his greener grass.I'm just pissed that the prick owns a better piece of real estate."

"Depth of Love [10w] The longer the time between relationships,the deeper your love."