#self-esteem-self-help-book

"The Delinquent Girl Chronicles Ages 7-11: Skip ropeAges 12-16: Skip classAge 17: Skip periodAge 18: Skip coming homeAge 19: Skip town"

"Poets and their Thin Skins Every poet is thin-skinned when it comes to criticism ~without ithow could he ever possess the astute sensitivity about lifeto even write poetry?"

"David Dukes How come everytime I put on the T.V.to watch some Dick Wolf crime show,all the judges are blackand all the criminals are white!I just sayin there must be some kindaJew conspiracy at work here!"

"Grease [10w] Relationships between people are rarely frictionless;they all need grease."

"Boasting vs. Toasting [10w] + {Couplet} What many call boasting to my success I call toasting."

"The Dangers of Second Hand Smoke "Second hand smoke can be harmful becauseif you don't put out that fucking cigaretteI'm smashing your head open with this baseball bat."

"Jesus [10w] "Sorry to keep you hanging,but it's just our nature."

"Mint Julep {Couplet} I've had more than a hint of a tulip or two,after treating them to a mint julep, or two."

"Love Poetry [10w] Love poetry is simply bleeding on the page with ink."

"Self-Sufficiency [10w] When God closes a door,buy a Sawzall from Home Depot."

"Hidden [10w] God hides enough happiness in sadness to light the world."

"Vengeance, Thy Name is Woman Betrayed women aren't exactly vengeful,but they aren't exactly anything else."

"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Hill That's because my lawn is on a south-facing slope of the hill and more more open to sunlight and warm winds. It's dryer due to higher levels of evapotranspiration than my neighbor's greener north-facing slope.I'm not the least bit envious of the color of his greener grass.I'm just pissed that the prick owns a better piece of real estate."

"In a True Global World... [10w] Famous people should be allowed to travel without a passport."

"New Year's Resolutions New Year's resolutions shouldn't be about doing new things;it should be about stopping to do the shitty things you're already doing."

"Telekinetic Poker Players Telekinetic poker players have a tell when they're bluffing:they always raise you."

"Having Words with Words [10w] ”I’ve had a falling out with words,leaving me speechless."

"Rice-a-Roni: The San Francisco treat... ...the other treat, of course, being anal penetration."

"The AP Stylebook is Useless {Couplet} I can't abbreviate abbreviation nor know how to initialize an acronym,I can find the contraction for contraction nor the précis for a homonym."

"Why We Need Smart People [10w] We need smart people to call other smart people morons."