#self-esteem-self-help-book

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"How to Get Girls into Bed When I take a new girl out on a dateI tell them I slipped poison into their wineand the antidote is on my penis."

"Avery If a boy named Avery marries a girl named Avery,will they name or just label their children?"

"Pitter Patter I love to hear the pitter patter of little feet ~as they unsuccessfully struggle to break free of my choke hold."

"The Poet's Way Are we ever sure what we do,will endure and get its due?No.But we do it anyway.For that is the poet's way."

"Cormorant’s Flight [10w] The cormorant’s flight is the first shadow of the wave."

"Politicians [10w] All politicians serve two masters ~their ambition and their cocks."

"The Machismo Motto [10w] "When we are not hard as nails we get screwed."

"Comedy vs. Satire [10w] Comedy pokes fun at society's self-inflation;satire deflates the balloon."

"Minimum Wage [10w] Even trained bears couldn't bear working for bare minimum wage."

"Black Hole The death of one great man makes the world seem empty;the death or three creates a back hole in the heart of humanity.In Memorium 2015B.B. KingOliver SacksNicholas Winton"

"Why Utopias Fail When you tie several horses together and one takes the lead, they all fall."

"Poetry Site vs. Social Networking Site [10w] Hello Poetry is whatever you want Hello Poetry to be."

"BMW: The ultimate driving machine... ...just like our gas chambers were the ultimate killing machines."

"but,=""soft!=""what=""light=""through=""yonder=""window=""breaks?"=""[10w]="""Shut the fuck up! I think we got a burglar."

"Dysfunctional vs. You're One Fucked Up Bitch [10w] "Causing pain's the only way you know how to love."

"That Jesus Kinda' Love [20w] What people do for the loveof their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,I wouldn't do for my fucking mother."

"Rat Trap Haiku 'Hmm, 12 by 13,4 by 9. Oy! You call thisrat trap an apartment?"

"Jealousy [10w] Jealousy's like being reprimanded for a crime you haven't committed."

"Epiphanies [10w] Epiphanies aren't intuitions of new ideas;they're rearranging existing information."