#self-improvement-book

"When in Doubt [10w] If your relationship becomes stagnant,set fire to her dress."

"Tennessee State Motto Agriculture and Commerce.Where the KKK was bornand the most popular pick up line is, 'Nice tooth!"

"Diet and Exorcise [10w] The most effective diet is hanging around with fat people."

"Ruth Whither thou goest, I will go ~as long as it's to the mall.I heard Dillard's is having an 80% off sale!"

"Read vs. Write If you want to know about life second hand, read;if you want to experience life directly, write."

"Hung [10w] Being caught with your pants down is a hanging offense."

"Summer NYC ☜ʇɥƃᴉlɟ☞'ɥsɐp ɐ 'ɥsɐlds ∀˙ɥʇɐq ʍollɐɥs ɐ ʇɐ sʍoɹɹɐds ǝʞᴉlsɹǝlʞuᴉɹds ʇɐ uǝɹplᴉɥƆ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Children at sprinklerslike sparrows at a shallow bath.A splash, a dash, ☜flight☞"

"Thai-kus From the dark starfishof the 300 Baht whoremy white sperm bubbles.Reclining BuddhaBirds nest in your golden ears.What wisdom they hear."

"Poetry as Conspiracy [10w] A poem is unspoken conspiracy between the reader and poet."

"Friendship vs. Love [10w] Friendship requires poise and patience;love demands pluck and perseverance."

"Spontaneous Gift Giving [10w] Learn to give gifts spontaneously accompanied by a love note."

"Mood Swings 'ᏰέƦẙḽԃṏሁ's the most "unappreciated"poet on this site.Being "misunderstood"is what gets him into a fight.Now that I'm retired and free,He's the new "King"of HP ~Now I hate that Jew because he's better and right."

"Masochist [10w] A masochist goes to massage parlor seeking a tragic ending."

"Grandma's Advice on Ambition "Children, if you aim for the stars you'll be impaled by small meteorites and become toast."

"Out-of-the-Box [10w] I march to my own drummerin a drum circle."

"Love Poetry [10w] Love poetry is simply bleeding on the page with ink."

"What Makes a Terrorist Tic {Couplet} "If you want to glimpse how dark I really am,Place me beside the brilliant words of our Holy Qur'an."

"Closets Opening and Closing [10w] + [10w] You can take sweet gay men out of the closet;you can't take the closet out of the master-bedroom suite."

"From the Slobodan Milošević interview during the the Hague Tribunal : 'What are your hobbies?' [10w] "I enjoy gardening because weeding reminds me of ethnic cleansing."

"Regret vs. Good Times "If I had to regret the good times I spent with every lover who eventually disillusioned me,my love life would be reduced to ten seconds."