#self-improvement-book

"Pitter Patter I love to hear the pitter patter of little feet ~as they unsuccessfully struggle to break free of my choke hold."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"What Might Have Been {Couplet} Dwell not upon what might have been,Within such idle spin, you can never win."

"A Real Passionate Kiss Should Feel Like Dying [10w] Like ice melting into water coming to a rolling boil."

"Mint Julep {Couplet} I've had more than a hint of a tulip or two,after treating them to a mint julep, or two."

"Grease [10w] Relationships between people are rarely frictionless;they all need grease."

"Enemies [10w] I prefer my enemies death than apologeticfor closure's sake"

"Gray [10w] Since gray's the 'new black' things aren't black and white."

"Beating the Language Like a Tom-Tom with a Mohawk "Actually, you will receive a free pre-owned gift with every purchase,irregardless of the awesome enormity of your stupidity."

"Jonesing [10w] Is it odd of me that I'm Jonsesing for strange?"

"Hungry When you're hungry everything tastes good.Note to myself: Don't get married when you're hungry."

"What Teenage Boys Do On Their Computer All Day [10w] ctrl alt delete ex-girlfriendcut paste Penelope Cruzpost Facebook"

"Rain Check I'm a shitty typist and speller, I hunt and peck,I wrote, "i LeFt mY sWeEtToOtH iN yOuR nEcKoF tHe WoOdS, cOuLd YoU pLeAsE bRiNgIt BeCk."Surprisingly, you did,and left."rAiN cHeCk."

"Small Degrees Lobster don't fathom they're being cooked,like relationships being snuffed out in small degreesbut in reverse, as love begins to freeze over, trapping you in a impenetrable ceiling of ice until you drown."

"Iran [10w] In Teheran daylight dawnswith minarets against skies of bronze."

"Contiguous vs. Continuous Identity Identity's only preserved in death;in life it is ever-changing."

"Read vs. Write If you want to know about life second hand, read;if you want to experience life directly, write."

"Shit Poetry [10w] Poetry without grace of expression is just so much shit."

"Hook 'em I know how to leave them satisfied and hungry for more ~with a carefully administered shot of insulin."

"North Dakota Haiku "My bib overallslook spiffy at a weddingor a funeral."